I am a student at Ellesmere College. This is a place where I will be able to share my learning with you. Please note....some work won't be edited - just my first drafts, so there may be some surface errors. I would love your feedback, comments, thoughts and ideas.
Kia Ora Nick, this is Shannon from the Summer Learning Journey.
Wow, what an incredible poem! I really appreciate the acrostic style, very cool! I like how you have included so many emotions as well as actual feelings astronauts have acknowledged when they’ve returned to the ground. I imagine space would be quite quiet and peaceful, and I agree, it would be awesome if everyone could go there. Do you think people should try and build a hotel there? If so what are some activities people could do on the moon to attract tourists?
I particularly like your use of simile in “I was bouncing like a rubber ball”. What a neat visual! I can just imagine you in an astronaut suit bouncing across the craters on the moon.
Have you considered making the pictures a little bit bigger to compliment your poem a bit more?
No I would not like them to build a hotel on the moon because people will litter and make the moon a disgusting place. Plus the hotel will ruin the moon because of the lights.
You make an excellent point, I hadn't thought about how hotel lights on the moon would affect the view from earth.
Hopefully as people are becoming more environmentally conscious, we as a species become more aware of our rubbish habits and learn how to combat them. What are some ways you know of to minimise rubbish usage and waste?
Please structure you comments as follows: Positive - Telling Nick he did something well Thoughtful - A sentence to let Nick know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say Helpful - Give Nick ideas for next time or Ask a question you want to know more about
Kia Ora Nick, this is Shannon from the Summer Learning Journey.
ReplyDeleteWow, what an incredible poem! I really appreciate the acrostic style, very cool! I like how you have included so many emotions as well as actual feelings astronauts have acknowledged when they’ve returned to the ground. I imagine space would be quite quiet and peaceful, and I agree, it would be awesome if everyone could go there. Do you think people should try and build a hotel there? If so what are some activities people could do on the moon to attract tourists?
I particularly like your use of simile in “I was bouncing like a rubber ball”. What a neat visual! I can just imagine you in an astronaut suit bouncing across the craters on the moon.
Have you considered making the pictures a little bit bigger to compliment your poem a bit more?
Mā te wā
Shannon (SLJ)
Kia Ora Shannon,
ReplyDeleteNo I would not like them to build a hotel on the moon because people will litter and make the moon a disgusting place. Plus the hotel will ruin the moon because of the lights.
Nga mihi
Nick
You make an excellent point, I hadn't thought about how hotel lights on the moon would affect the view from earth.
DeleteHopefully as people are becoming more environmentally conscious, we as a species become more aware of our rubbish habits and learn how to combat them. What are some ways you know of to minimise rubbish usage and waste?
Mā te wā
Shannon (SLJ)